Well, I’m ready to commit to living my life how I want. For the past 3 weeks I have been decluttering & keeping the house clean & working on my health (exercising & I joined Weight Watchers).
It hasn’t been easy, but it hasn’t been horrendous. The funny thing is that I’m finding more satisfaction in the “house upkeep” than I am the weight loss/healthy thing. I know that it is only because I see such results with all my work I’m putting into the house. It makes me so happy to come home to a clean house. It is so much easier to cook in a clean kitchen. It is wonderful to have clean clothes. All those things are visible proof of my hard work and I feel extreme satisfaction in this area.
On the other hand, this getting healthy thing of dieting and exercising is really hard work. And I’m not seeing results so quickly. The first week on WW I lost 5lbs (!) & that was awesome. This week I gained back 1.6 of that (I know why, though… it was because I hadn’t pooped in 2 days!! ugh, I was so bloated). I’m not as upset with myself as I thought I would be because I’m still down 3.4lbs & that is a great average for 2 weeks. Plus I know as soon as I poop, I’ll be equal to last week’s weight (hehe, sorry for the TMI).
This health stuff is hard. Not only is it so difficult to convince myself to go exercise, it is so hard while I am doing it! I know it will get easier, but the here & now is so very difficult. The other difficult piece is the eating piece. I mean, I know how to eat (obviously or I wouldn’t weight 243 lbs), but the planning and preparing of healthy food is not only quite laborious, it is a thankless job. The time and prep that goes into a meal & then it is over as soon as it is eaten, and then I have to get ready to prep the next meal– it’s never-ending!!
So those are my challenges. I’m in a good place with them right now and I know as soon as I see more results weight-loss wise I will consider this work more worth-while.
But I also got a message today from God that I’m on the right path and that it is going to be worth it. On my way home from WW, I passed a church that had this written on its message board: “Change is Inevitable. Growth is Intentional.” I found this to be very inspirational and so true. I hate change and resist it at any cost, but deep down I know this is futile, because change IS inevitable. Everything changes. Some changes are good, some don’t seem good at the time. I want to change a lot about myself, but I’m doing it with purpose. This year I’m focusing on 3 areas of growth in my life: My House, My Health, & My Finances. And I am being very intentional in how I am going to change and grow. I felt like this was God whispering in my ear that I am on the right track. It gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes, thinking that He was speaking to me.