So it has been almost 2 years. Wow. This will be my final attempt at blogging about my change because I am going to change this time, whether I blog about it or not. Where I stand today:
1. Mother of 4… kids are 12, 9, 3, and almost 4 months
2. 242 pounds
3. Thyroid cancer status unknown– in fact I’m in the middle of a new round of tests to determine the status
4. Depression status- better than it has been in a long time, but not perfect. (interesting fun fact, this was my best pregnancy for my depression and my doc thinks it it because of m heavy duty thyroid meds)
5. General contentment- ugh, not very
Here’s what I want to change in my life and I’m starting all of them today. Eff baby steps! They haven’t worked for me the past, so why will they work this time.
1. Changing my physical Self: move more, eat less
2. Changing my mommy Self: be “Fun Mommy” more than “Mean Mommy;” more individual, quality time with each kid; no more yelling; more modeling of the behaviors I want to see in them.
3. Changing my Self’s environment: get rid of the clutter, keep the house cleaned up
4. Changing my Self’s relationships: work on marriage by making it a priority; find more friendships with women I can relate with and grow mutually beneficial friendships
5. Changing Everything Else: I want to stop procrastinating, and start doing the things I always want to do: scrapbooking (whether digital or paper), photography, writing, etc. By putting these things off, I have lost a big part of myself. I want to find her again.
First order of business today: take E to the park. Something I never do. We may even have a picnic. I may even bring my camera. Fun Mommy come on out! (Truthfully, rebuilding my relationship with my 3 year old is going to be way easier than the relationships with the 9 and 12 year olds. The old me would say that I shouldn’t take E to the park unless I do something equal with the 9 and 12 year olds, but the new me is saying, I have more opportunity with the 3 year old, so take advantage of it!)