My Aching Body

I’m working out and my body is revolting, REVOLTING against me!!

I’ve had plantar fasciitis for two years, off and on. It is bad when I am exercising. I hobble around in the morning and throughout the day. I ice my foot several times a week. I take a ton of ibuprofen. I deal with it.

I also have after-working out, specific muscle soreness. I kind of like this kind of soreness. Especially when it is from little muscles that I hardly notice otherwise. This kind of soreness makes me feel stronger and leaner. When my abs are sore, and I notice them with every twist and turn, it feels good.

My newest pain, that I do not like, and wish that it would go die in a fire is shin splints. Shin splints are evil. They are painful. They are getting in the way of how hard I want to work out. My shins are on fire if I run or jog or jump at all. I finally get myself to do bootcamps and I can’t do a third of it because it hurts too much. I’m already embarrassed about being the most out of shape person at the bootcamp, and then I can’t do anything that has any impact at all. Makes me feel like I’m not doing any good, even though I know that something is better than nothing.

So Body, I’m putting you on notice, that even though you are trying to revolt against me, I am going to persevere and win. Trust me, in the end, you’ll thank me. This is for both of us. So please, don’t try to kill me.


Fattest Girl in the Gym

Sometime early in the summer, I decided I wanted to get to work on improving my health and therefore improving my life. So I joined Biggest Blogging Loser. It’s a competition of sorts to help motivate and hold people accountable while trying to lose weight. I have sent in my weight/scale pics to Jennie , hostess of this BBL. I joined the Facebook BBL group. And… that’s about it. I somewhat watched what I ate. But not really. It was like I thought that signing up for BBL would be enough. Ha. Not even close.

And then my 20 year high school reunion was coming up. And I lamented how bad I’d let myself get. And I was so unhappy with myself that I started to feel a shift. This shift towards seriously considering what it was going to take to make a change to my health. I stated researching gyms and personal trainers in early June. And that started me thinking about what would work for me.

I knew I wanted to incorporate strength training. But I did not want to go to a Big Brand Gym, even though one is really close to my house. I’ve done that route before and it simply doesn’t work for me. I get overwhelmed with what to do so I do cardio and a few weight machines and that’s it. I don’t push myself for fear of looking like an idiot.

Some Facebook friends are into Crossfit, and that seemed interesting, but I couldn’t ever see myself THAT hardcore. I thought about park-based bootcamps and stroller stride-type classes. But pretty early on I knew I was going to need a personal trainer.

So I found a small gym 10 minutes away that has bootcamps and personal trainers. And I social-media stalked it. I checked out online reviews. Facebook pages of people associated with it. And just tried to imagine if this was the place for me to start my journey. And I thought and stewed about it. For at least 6 weeks. Then I realized I had to call them. I got all sweaty just thinking about it. So I just thought about it some more. I needed to find out how much it cost before I could even see if it was going to work for me. So I emailed. Which led to a consultation and training session with the owner.

Driving up to the gym that initial time, I had to face all my Fat Girl Demons. I almost turned my car around. I was on the verge of tears. What was I afraid of? I couldn’t verbalize it at first. I didn’t exactly know. But it was fear, plain and simple.

So I did my workout. The owner and the trainers and other clients were all very friendly and supportive. It was a hard work out. I pushed myself. I found out how much it cost and tried not to choke. It was more than I thought, but somewhat doable with some belt tightening. I had to do this. I felt like it was now or never. I signed on the dotted line. I set up my next session with the trainer who the owner thought would be a good fit for me. I got in my car and drove away.

As I was driving away, I realized that my fear had come true, even though I couldn’t verbalize it prior. I was The Fattest Girl in the Gym.  But nobody pointed at me or laughed at me. Because in the end, it didn’t matter.