things to remember about my new body

My body is changing so much right now. It is exciting & disturbing at the same time.
I finally just broke under 230 lbs- I can’t remember the last time I could say that! I’ve lost almost 20lbs. I just bought size 16 jeans (down from size 22). I’m physically shrinking. Those are all terrific things that I’m working very hard for.
But, oh, my poor skin! The flab! The stretch marks! The horror! And I still have 90lbs to go… I can’t imagine what my skin is going to look like then…. actually, I don’t want to! I actively avoid thinking about it because I don’t want it to be an excuse for not reaching my goal.
Today I had an interesting thought for reframing how I look at my new body. It came about when I noticed the part of my body I hate the most: my upper arms. Flab City WINGS OF FLAB! .
I asked myself what would I rather have: fat, unhealthy upper arms attached to my obese, unhealthy body, or flabby, healthy arms attached to a thinner, healthier me?? Well, duh, that answer is pretty easy. But these arms are going to be a very visible reminder of what I looked like and who I allowed myself to be for so long. Every time I wear short sleeves, or God forbid, sleeveless shirts I will be forced to remember.
Then I thought, “Well, good.” I want my future, thin & healthy self to look at my flabby, stretched out skin and thank me, the 229 lb woman who made a choice to change. The obese woman who finally had enough of hating herself and mustered up the courage to imagine the possibility of loving herself by getting healthy.
I want to look at my skin in the future and not be disgusted but rather be encouraged that if I could go from 264 lbs to 140 lbs that I can do anything else I put my mind to if I just want it bad enough. I can’t wait!!


4 pounds…. GONE for GOOD

I weighed myself this morning and the number was 259.9– so I’m calling it 260 (I figure I will eventually be rounding down, so it is only fair that I round up when appropriate). That means 4 pounds!! Woot Woot!

Although, truthfully, I’m not very excited. I would have thought it would have been more for as hard as I am working compared to what I previously did. Also, I have gained or lost 5 pounds in a week many times, it is sort of my flex number. Talk to me at 10 pounds… then I will be excited!!

There are other good things I’ve noticed: more energy, lower morning glucose, and I’m still motivated to do this! And, if my true, overall goal is better health, then I’m heading in the right direction. I’ve told myself it is going to be slow, and I am truly ready for that. I am going to have patience. I’m in this for the long haul.